Why Values Matter

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An "Authentic" Life


Living authentically is something that many of us are trying to achieve (including yours truly!). I'm not sure who coined the term, but for me it became big when Oprah transitioned to her "Better Life" programs. We all go to work, rest a little at home, and go to work again. Rinse and repeat x5 until if we are lucky we have 2 solid days to do everything we need to get done around the house before the cycle repeats. If we aren't too exhausted from all of that, we end up feeling disconnected within ourselves and the world around us. Living authentically is a term that we have heard from many sources, yet what does it mean and more importantly does it actually exist?


Values

The quick answer is yes, it does exist. However, living authentically can mean different things to different people. I've met countless people who are living their lives in a ...

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  • EmotionalFitnessVCS
  • Therapy
  • VCS Blog

The Expectation Trap

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The Trap

We have all been there. 

We set up these expectations, the person or situation doesn't meet them, and then we end up feeling frustrated, angry, and upset. We are disappointed with the person who failed us and then mad at ourselves for expecting so much to begin with.

A friend of mine was experiencing some of these emotions when she asked me what she should be expecting from her therapist. A rule of life I keep in my back pocket is that if you have low expectations then you are rarely disappointed. That kind of mentality works for seeing a new movie or trying a new restaurant, but it becomes sticky when it begins to involve other people. You have a right as a human being to have expectations on others, especially if they are active in your life. However, it is important to make sure these expectations are realistic otherwise you're in for a lot of disappointment. < ...

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Tags:

  • EmotionalFitnessVCS
  • Therapy
  • VCS Blog

The Benefits of Self Compassion

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What is it?

Like Mindfulness, Self Compassion is a term you probably have heard of either in therapy, at a bookstore, or any self-help podcast, but you aren't 100% sure what it means. I'm not exaggerating when I tell clients and friends that learning and practicing Self Compassion changed my life. In fact, I remember when it happened during my 2nd year in graduate school when a student was doing a PowerPoint presentation on the subject. I'm not sure if it was the way the student described it or if her PowerPoint was really just that good, but I remember walking out of the classroom knowing I have been mistreating myself my entire life. 

The simplest way to describe Self Compassion is to be your own best friend. It sounds simple, but I'm sure as many of you know it is much easier said than done because we are trained to think the worst of ourselves. Why do we do t ...

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